A Saturday Session

Selama ini saya memotret cuma just for fun. I'm not a professional. Saya juga masih dalam tahap belajar menggunakan kamera DSLR dengan baik dan benar. Jadi saat mendadak diminta memotret~apalagi buat cover majalah sekolah~Saya langsung galau. Dan, sesuai perkiraan, rasanya hectic banget saat harus meng-handle semuanya.

A vintage one. Nyobain editing warna vintage, step by step di photoshop

Banyak yang harus dipersiapkan dan dilakukan dalam satu sesi pemotretan (even it just for a school-business). Dari make up, kostum, lokasi foto, pengarah gaya, sampai setting kamera. Yang sebaiknya semua itu dilakukan secara teamwork. 

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Harder Than You Know

I thought that it will be easy to forget you. Forget about how closer we were. Forget about how hard you tried to get into my circle. Forget about the way you care, the way you tease, or the way you smile at me.

But, the more I try to forget, the more I realize that I can't. 

You were still there. When your name popped in my phone, when you sang that songs, when I was shivering at the time we met, or when I was waiting for your text all day long. It surprises me, that I actually capable of feeling this way.

You were still there, inside me as I was listening to that songs. When I was escaping into that strange city. When I was having a cup of coffee, gazing out the window and seeing the raindrops. Ya, just like today.

I hate to realize that, your absence just make this heart grow fonder. But, how can I miss you if you never would stay? Actually, as you said before~you really make me feel the love and the wounds at the same time.

As your take-it-easy things, I have tried it a thousand times. I'm trying to convince myself that everything will gonna be okay.  I'm trying to forget. I'm trying to let go. I'm trying to fill the emptiness that's left inside. And it just getting harder than you know.

At the end, I find that the hardest part of losing someone is not having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. Ya, its not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.

See how much you affect me now? Its not about how long you stay. Its not about how much you did. Its not about how far you entered the circle. It just about you, the one who is so wonderful to think of, but so hard to be without.

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Dua Kosong Satu Lima

Karena awal tahun disibukkan dengan beberapa hal yang penting (dan nggak penting), maka baru sekarang saya buat resolusi tahun 2015 ini. Sebelum itu, mari review resolusi 2014 yang pernah saya buat disini.

Well, hampir 90% resolusi tahun 2014 udah tercapai sesuai target. Kesibukan mengingkat drastis, bahkan bisa dibilang hampir overdosis. Job alias kerja tambahan (alhamdulillah) mengalir deras. Mulai dari membuat media pembelajaran, design buku tahunan, design pernak-pernik wedding buat teman-teman, termasuk proyek photography pertama (yang masih dalam proses editing). Untuk konsep blog, saya bisa bilang...much better. Udah berkurang-banget galaunya, udah cukup bisa membuka point of view pembaca, dan... I have a new place buat menulis artikel sejak gabung bareng blogger lain di amipop.com. Saya juga udah mendapatkan strategi baru, dan I can hadle the class.

Of course, saya bersyukur-banget dengan semua itu. It was like... tahun 2014 jadi waktu kerja-keras-banget buat saya. Lalu, gimana dengan dua-kosong-satu-lima atau 2015 ini...?

Secara garis besar, saya masih melanjutkan resolusi 2014 kemarin, yaitu :

• Mengembangkan proyek design. Tetap di layout majalah, buku tahunan, dan logo. Mungkin akan berkembang juga di pernak-pernik wedding. Karena belakangan banyak permintaan buat design undangan dan wedding souvenir.
• Mengembangkan proyek photography. Yang mungkin nantinya akan lebih banyak berkembang di prewedding, engagement, maternity atau yang sejenisnya. Karena sebagian besar request seperti itu. Yang paling penting, saya harus belajar motret dengan baik. Demi me-minimalisir kesalahan-kesalahan yang menyebabkan hasil foto jadi kacau sehingga butuh editing yang berat.
• Tetap konsisten update blog, rajin posting tentang banyak hal seru, dan makin produktif buat nulis artikel di amipop.com.

Buat tambahannya, ada beberapa hal baru yang mulai ditargetkan di 2015 ini, yaitu :

• Harus bisa lebih banyak bersyukur, stay positive dan nggak over-thinking dalam menghadapi apapun.
• Atur waktu buat quality time. Buat keseruan bareng teman, kebersamaan bareng keluarga, dan jaga semua hal yang udah ada di hidup ini.
• Saving. Not spending. Harus lebih banyak menabung buat semua persiapan masa depan, kurangi keluyuran seharian yang berakibat pada pemborosan fatal. Hahaha. 
• Graduation. Lulus lebih cepat 6 bulan terlihat menarik. I hope so. Lebih cepat lulus akan lebih baik buat semua pihak. *winking.
• Belajar buat settle down, meet my Mr.Right. And entering the new phase of life. Mungkin efek kebanyakan mengurusi weddingnya teman, atau... emang sudah waktunya memikirkan hal itu. Because somehow, I was tired of being broken. So, just let's see how the fate (and miracle) works !

Yang pasti, 2015 harus bisa lebih baik di semua aspek. Kerjaan, kuliah, side jobs, pola pikir, dan pola hidup harus lebih teratur. So, welcome dua-kosong-satu-lima. Please be nice to me. :D

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Recovery

For no one knows the heart-ache that lies behind the smiles. I wanted to tell you something.

Life is just full of surprises. They said that hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and everything will gonna be okay. But, are you sure?

For some reasons, the best preparation doesn't always work the way we wanted to. No matter how hard you hold on, sometimes you just fall. You lost. You're mad. You're broke. You hurt. And life will force you to experience that uncomfortable feelings.

You might be ready for this. But when it happens, you're not totally fine. The wound's still exist. You might hide that things in a smile, and an "I'm okay". But, you can't hide it forever. People will realize it.

As the times goes by, you must deal with the pain. Loneliness's hurt. Changing the habit might not be easy. Healing needs time. Recovery will become an on going process.

Meet the new people. Do whatever that makes you happy. Be thankful for the other bless. And if it doesn't work, be more patience with yourself.

Everything will be back as a normal. You'll be fine. And be happy once again.

posted from Bloggeroid

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An Explosion, A Path, and A Bless

Sometimes, life just twisted us around. It gave the unpredictable feelings, trapped us in some kind of path, or changed the direction of life. When the world had turned into wrong, all the things that we did just to explode it. We complained. We cried. We mad. Without realizing that an explosion will make a better way for everything.

Knowing that things always come together, bad and good, sadness and happiness, hello and goodbye, then. As Allah said : there is an ease after hardship. After an explosion, there will always be a bless. Can we realize that? Of course. Its our choice to have the intent for changing the point of view.

Every single step that we choose will lead us to a path. We walk into the path. We turn, we stop. We keep moving although we're afraid of losing. We just walk around, without knowing about what will happen. Basically, we're blind. We don't even know whether the path is the right one, the wrong one, or just a trap to twist us around.

Someday, we will understand everything. The wound will be healed, the pain will be gone. A path will give the best lesson to learn. As I've ever said before, life is just like a camera. Focus, capture, develop. And if plan don't work out, improve and take another shoot.

Don't be totally worried about everything that happened around. All of the pain will pay off. In the right time. We just need to do the best, be the best, give the best, and believe in Allah's way. Because no matter how strong we are, the choice is ours but the decision is still Allah's. So, just let Allah lead the way. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

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